You could clearly see the exasperation on both of their faces. They were connected by blood, and also deep familia love. Yet over the last number of years the political climate had evoked great consternation between them.
The Groundhog’s Day endless cycle of the same argument was not only weary for the two of them but all of their family and friends.
The core challenge of their apparent lack of capacity to move beyond the redundant rhetoric was a deeper understanding of the WHY of their CHOICES.
The reality is unless and until we actually articulate our rational, our ‘why’ of our choices, we will be stuck in the muck of an endless quagmire.
Understanding the ‘why’ behind another person, while it may not change our choice, will hopefully provide us with a greater understanding of their perspective. Which in turn may hopefully provide us with a deeper level of understanding and empathy.
Theologian Thomas Merton offers this,
“We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.” And author Ruth Haley, who focuses on spiritual formation and leadership offers, “…the choices we make are always about love and which choice enables us to keep following God into love.”
What are the ‘why’ of our choices? Do they in fact reflect our real selves? Are they grounded in love of neighbor, God and self?
As importantly, have we invited those whose choices differ from ours to share their ‘why’? Have we created a space where they feel comfortable sharing how their choice reflects their real selves; love of neighbor, God, self?
When we are clear about the ‘why’ of our choices – and – we sincerely seek the ‘why’ of others’ choices there is a greater possibility to have an actual engaging, respectful conversation.
BP