For those who have ears to hear…
It was a festive gathering filled with lots of folks all enjoying beverages, appetizers and each other’s company. Amidst the joyous raucous I strained to hear what my present conversation partner was sharing. As such, I smiled and said, “Oh, really,” and then began to take the exchange in another direction when a friend standing in our small group interrupted me and offered in a much louder voice, “So sorry to hear about your daughter.” Embarrassed, I followed, “I apologize, I misheard what you said.”
This encounter was a pivotal moment in my life. Whether denial or vanity I could no longer ignore that adolescence and young adulthood filled with loud rock ‘n’ roll, loud cars and later too many airplanes with bad sinuses had done a number on my hearing.
Yet it was more than the physical consequences of not being able to hear that were impairing my capacity to listen. Clearly as my hearing was diminishing I acted as if I heard what the person was saying just enough to get the general gist. However, I missed so much of what folks were really saying. That which you only hear if you are listening actively.
I clearly needed to reboot my capacity for really hearing others. Not only turn up the volume in my ears due some very cool devices but also strengthen my listening muscle. Because listening actively is not just hearing what another is saying. It’s also intonation, expression, body language -and – often what is not being said. In my experience to truly actively listen to another, we need to turn off our own narrative and fully listen to the person who is speaking.
I have long appreciated Jesus of Nazareth’s word’s, “For those who have ears to hear.” Almost every leader or community I have been fortunate to walk with I have invited to reflect on, “If you really had ears to hear – what would you hear?”
This present season we find ourselves may be the perfect time for us to ponder what it would be like if we all really had ears to hear…
When someone deeply listens to you
it is like holding out a dented cup
you’ve had since childhood
and watching it fill up with
cold, fresh water.
When it balances on top of the brim,
you are understood.
When it overflows and touches your skin,
You are loved.
When someone deeply listens to you,
the room where you stay
starts a new life
and the place where you wrote
your first poem
begins to glow in your mind’s eye.
It is as if gold has been discovered!
When someone deeply listens to you,
your bare feet are on the earth
and a beloved land that seemed distant
is now at home within you. – John Fox
BP