I had just received the privilege of being home alone and I was excited to exercise my new found independence. First on the list was to make my own lunch. While I was quite adept at making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches it was a cold day and I was craving soup. Turning on the stove was not on the permissible list but the microwave was fair game. So with great enthusiasm I grabbed the can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup and with the hand held can opener started to take the top off. All was going well until the last part of the lid would not release from the rest of the can so I reached for the lid to twist it off, “OUCH!” I yelled as blood began to stream down from my thumb. This was the moment my fear of tin can lids began!
This weekend I have had the good fortune of walking with the leadership of Holy Innocents’ Atlanta and leading a retreat with the parish in the theme of ‘Be Not Afraid’. With great fun our time began with my invitation for folks to name their fears and phobias. Spiders, snakes, mice, rats, heights were named in some very humorous accounts. Yet there were others that drew significant empathy such as failure, being alone, loved ones being harmed, illness and death. While good humor was found with some fears and phobias, it was clear fears can also be quite serious and at times significantly debilitating.
It can be challenging to navigate our fears even when we acknowledge they are not rational. Yes, I could get cut again by a tin can lid, but highly unlikely because I have learned how take them off with caution. My friends who don’t like creepy crawly things have learned to avoid spaces where they generally are found. Yet those more traumatic concerns in my experience can only be navigated by leaning into our faith.
“The river is flowing; we are already in it. This is probably the deepest meaning of ‘divine providence’. So do not be afraid. We have been proactively given the Spirit by a very proactive God. Ask yourself regularly, ‘What am I afraid of? Does it matter? Will it matter in the great scheme of things? Is it worth holding on to?’ We have to ask whether it is fear that keeps us from loving. Grace will lead us into such fears and emptiness, and grace alone can fill them, if we are willing to stay in the void. We mustn’t engineer an answer too quickly.” – Richard Rohr
The phrase ‘be not afraid’ appears 52 times in the Bible. Consistently these passage invites us to lean into our faith and not allow our fears to hold us back from living our lives to the fullest. Yes, challenges both real and imagined are a part of life’s journey. Yet, they do not have to have the last say.
“I will not die an unlived life, I will not go in fear of falling or catching fire, I choose to inhabit my days to allow my living to open to me, To make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes my wing, a torch, a promise, I choose to risk my significance: to live. So that which comes to me as seed goes to the next as blossom, and that which comes to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.” – Dawna Markova