I was enjoying watching the mass of humanity rush by as I sat outside the restaurant waiting for my colleague to arrive. A pre-teen girl came running by and shortly behind her was a middle aged man. Seconds later as the two of them passed a woman began yelling at the man to leave the girl alone. Then all of a sudden a man tackled the guy to the ground.
Standing now, I was trying to take in all that had taken place right in front of me. In the split second it took to transpire I became caught up in the narrative that this guy was chasing a pre-teen girl for nefarious reasons. Then all of sudden the girl shouted, “Get off my dad!”
It was clear the woman who shouted thought the man running was chasing after a girl. The guy that tackled him after he heard the woman shout assumed that the man was chasing the girl. Yours truly who got caught up in the moment made the same erroneous assumption. The reality is it was simply a father and daughter out for run.
The gathered crowd immediately looked at both the woman who had shouted and the guy who tackled with disdain. Admittedly, I too, immediately felt annoyed with them. Yet after a couple of moments I began to reflect about the intentions behind their actions. They both clearly believed that the girl was in danger and were trying to help her.
One of my favorite, and challenging, quotes from leadership expert Stephen Covey is, “We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior.”
How often is our initial response to the actions of others judgement rather than assuming positive intent? How often do we move to impact before trying to understand intent?
Witnessed by my own response, I understand it takes real intentionality to start with discerning intent. This is why I appreciate Archbishop Rowan Williams as he remind us, “To live in the Body of Christ is to be constantly challenged to see not only what people do but where that doing is coming from, to discern the intention of love even when it is clouded.”
“Assume positive intent. You will be amazed at how your whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different.” Indra Nooyi, former CEO of PepsiCo
BP