“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
The woman behind the counter smiled as I attempted to communicate in subpar Spanish. In turn, she did her best to respond in minimal English.
This exchange continued for a few moments until, all of a sudden, she grabbed her iPhone and raised it overhead like a trophy. She began speaking into the phone in Spanish and then waited a moment for the translation app to convert her words into English. She then handed me the phone, and without saying a word, it was clearly my turn to do the same in English.
Communication success!
For the next few minutes, like two friends sharing a candy bar, we simply passed the phone back and forth, each taking a turn speaking and listening. What had begun as a conversation limited by language became a connection made possible by a shared desire to understand one another.
As I walked away, what struck me was that neither of us was primarily trying to speak. We were trying to understand. The technology helped, but the real breakthrough wasn’t the app. It was our mutual willingness to keep reaching across the language barrier until understanding became possible.
Often, I find myself working with a group that firmly believes they have two clear, distinct, and different perspectives on a given issue. As such, they spend the majority of their time in a debate posture, desperately attempting to convince others that their view is THE view. Consequently, the actual issue often gets lost in the need to win rather than coming to a place of mutual understanding and a shared way forward.
One of my most influential leaders told me that they make every attempt to sit next to, rather than across from, the person with whom they presently share a different opinion. The body language evokes the mindset that they are on the same side but just collectively need to come to a solution.
Because, in the end, communication is not measured by how clearly we make our point, but by how faithfully we arrive at understanding together.
And while there was a counter between us, I was grateful to find a communication partner who wanted to work side by side in finding a solution.
“Let everyone be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.” – James 1:19
BP