There are people who annoy or irritate me. There are individuals whose behavior I find somewhere between challenging and appalling.
There are people I have found contentious, and others who are aggressively competitive.
And then there are those who have brought some degree of harm or hurt to me or to those I love.
Are all of these people my enemy?
The origin of the word enemy derives from the Latin word inimīcus, and Webster’s Dictionary defines it as “one that is antagonistic to another; especially one seeking to injure, overthrow, or confound an opponent.”
What I find fascinating about this definition, and the others I found, is that none of them made any real mention of the relational dynamic of those who are viewed as enemies.
At the core of the perspective that someone is an enemy is the clear definition that you are out of right relationship:
• Are people treated with dignity?
• Is power used responsibly?
• Are harms acknowledged and repaired?
• Does the relationship contribute to the flourishing of all?
Recognizing that naming someone an enemy is fundamentally relational is essential. Because the only true path to resolution is also relational—through the restoration of right relationship.
The heavy lift is that we live in a world that encourages what theologian Richard Rohr refers to as dualistic thinking: us/them, good/bad, in/out. This bifurcated way of seeing the world fuels polarization and steadily pulls people away from right relationship.
The real ‘battle’ then is not with others but within ourselves. When we hear the words “love your enemies”, it is understandably jarring. Yet when we hear the deeper call to “love your neighbor as yourself”, for our enemies are in fact our neighbors, the entire relational dynamic begins to shift. It is no longer only about the other person; it is also about me.
In that moment, the focus moves away from defining enemies as hostile and toward something far more difficult and far more hopeful: the possibility that even broken relationships can be transformed through compassion and reconciliation.
+BP