As I walked through the doors of the restaurant, my eyes were immediately drawn to a group of people across the way. I had only taken a few steps when folks in the gathering saw me, smiled, and waved me over. Handshakes quickly turned into hugs, followed by lots of cheerful variations of, “It’s really great to see you!” and “How are you?”
These friends of over twenty years—some of whom I hadn’t seen in quite some time—still gave off the warm familiarity of the classic TV show Cheers – where everybody knows your name! There’s nothing quite like walking into a gathering where you’re embraced and genuinely welcomed.
Recently, I was in conversation with a colleague who, after decades of working in his family’s multi-generational hospitality business, decided to make a change. In this new chapter, he had been recruited to be a ‘secret guest’ for restaurants, hotels, retail stores—and, to his surprise, a church.
“Frankly,” he said, “I was shocked by how inhospitable so many places are.” He then pulled out his phone and showed me the front door of one business—covered in signs filled with negative messages: Cell phones must be silenced. Do not park in the lot to the left of the building. Unruly customers will be prosecuted.
Actually, I wasn’t shocked. I work with many people on how they perceive themselves—and, more importantly, how the world experiences them. The disconnect is often stark. People tend to see themselves as warm and welcoming. And in many ways, they are—to each other. But not always to the newcomer, the stranger.
In his book Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect, Will Guidara writes:
“Hospitality isn’t just a service—it’s an art form that can make people feel deeply seen and valued.”
Priya Parker, in her great book The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters, offers a similarly powerful perspective. She emphasizes the importance of intentionality in how we gather people and urges hosts to be wholly committed to creating meaningful, high-quality experiences for their guests.
But long before Guidara and Parker offered their fine work on the practice of hospitality, Scripture gave us this enduring wisdom:
“You shall love the stranger as yourself, for you were strangers in the land.” — Leviticus 19:34
“Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it.” — Hebrews 13:2
“I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” — Matthew 25:35
One of the greatest gifts we can offer another person is to make them feel warmly welcomed, truly seen, and genuinely valued for who they are. That is hospitality.