He was kind, compassionate and very present to me…
She was reflective, content and very caring to me…
I feel incredibly blessed and am eternally grateful that the last moments I had with my parents before they passed into God’s greater glory gave me a deep sense of love and connectedness with my father and my mother.
“I wish there was a do-over…there are things, actually relationships, that I would have been much more attentive to.” Sitting there next to this gentleman in the hospital I felt a strong sense of sorrow for him. He had just learned that his situation was terminal and a nurse had called me as the very young chaplain on duty to see if I would come and be with him.
I learned from our conversation that he had been a high ranking decorated veteran. That following his time in the military he built a multimillion dollar business and led numerous civic organizations. He improved and wonderfully impacted many people’s lives. Yet, in this moment he was filled with regret.
While known and respected by many his relationship with his spouse, children and grandchildren was clearly shallow, if not estranged, and it appeared that he had no real friends to speak of.
Now as his earthly journey was quickly coming to an end he was filled with regret and remorse for not tending to the relationships in his life. And sadly, subsequently, I have walked many others who were at this same place in their lives with strained or estranged relationships.
One of my favorite blessings begins this way, “Life is short and we have too little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. So be swift to love, make haste to be kind…” And I would add do everything you can to mend fences, build bridges, and lean into the core value of our faith journey to reconcile with others.
I am so so grateful for the space I shared with my parents in their last days. And so transformed by the conversation with the gentleman in the hospital. Both have been a constant reminder of how I want live my life to the best my ability to not have my last moments filled with relational regret.
Bless me this night, O God,
and those whom I know and love.
Bless me this night, O God,
and those with whom I am not at peace.
Bless me this night, O God,
and every human family.
Bless us with deep sleep.
Bless us with dreams that will heal our souls.
Bless us with the night’s silent messages of eternity that we may be set free by love.
Bless us in the night, O God,
that we may be set free to love. – John Philip Newell
BP