“I think I would have shifted my focus from expectation to observation.”
Actor Ryan Reynolds recently expressed this perspective in an interview about how he might have approached his father’s Parkinson’s disease differently: focusing more on being present and observing rather than expecting things to go a certain way. By focusing less on expectations and more on observing situations as they unfold, Reynolds went on to share this perspective has helped him navigate the unpredictable nature of life, especially in challenging times.
Ryan Reynolds’s experience is reminiscent of one of my college psychology class assignments. Our professor tasked us with spending an hour walking amidst a large gathering of people and engaging for a brief moment looking in the face of as many people as possible. We were further instructed to fight the urge to stereotype or judge but rather just observe. I acutely remember this homework frankly because of how challenging it was. As theologian Richard Rohr writes, “The recurring temptation is to separate, analyze, and judge the parts, which gives us a sense of control and understanding.”
There was a Samaritan at a well…there was a corrupt tax collector…there was a person caught in adultery…there is a wealthy tax collector in a tree…there was a sinful person waisting expensive perfume…these are just a few of the folks whom Jesus of Nazareth saw beyond labels and stereotypes and even a history of bad choices to observe the fullness of the person.
Cultivating the capacity to let go of expectations, judgement and stereotyping and move to place of observation and appreciation is a real discipline. And yet, what begins to come into focus is the wonderful uniqueness of each imago Dei…image of God.
As author and spiritual director Christine Valters Painter writes, “When we are receptive we let go of our agendas and expectations. We allow ourselves to see beneath preconceived ideas. Rather than going after what we want in life, or ‘forcing’, we cultivate a contentment with what actually is.”
BP